Open the Dam of Your Emotions
This past weekend, I was so overstimulated from menopausal hot flashes, spring pollen, city crowds and work. I was also overwhelmed with to dos, obligations and taxes.
Saturday, my yoga teacher told me that I seemed, "depranafied." I was trying so hard to stay the course that I was suppressing my Vital Force, pushing it deep inside. So my energy was not moving to the surface at all.
When given the chance to rest and just be with myself, the Force of my emotional build-up burst out of me as bawling and wailing. I was moving out the fire created by all the external and internal friction. Deep grief for the losses I've experienced personally, as well as collectively, poured out of me throughout the entire day. (Interestingly, that was when Notre Dame in Paris was burning.)
To help that energy flow, my body instinctively writhed, sometimes stretching long, sometimes curling into a fetal position. I rocked. I wailed into pillows. I pounded the couch. I made a big show of it.
It was a catharsis.
It took quite a bit of time for all that was there to move out, but when it passed I felt vibrant and vital again.
A few years ago, I had a vision of thousands of women, crying and weeping, as they stood in a dry river bed. I heard Mother Earth say that we, humans, had stopped giving Her our fluids. That is partly why there are droughts and fires. I saw the river bed filling with the tears of these crying women. It was a powerful message that we must grieve for all we have lost, personally and collectively.
The River Nile was born of the tears Isis shed as she mourned the death of her brother/husband, Osiris. Her act of grief. These vital waters are what brought fertility to the desert.
Emotions are the Vital Force moving through us as the elements. Though we may hide how we feel so we don't cause others the discomfort of standing in the path of our power, we cannot do so forever. That Force will express itself in someway. It may break down our body or loop continually through the mind or come out sideways as passive aggressive behavior.
The origin of the word "emotion" means 'move out.'
We once understood, on a very deep level, that our feelings were meant to move that we named them so. So, how did we come to this place in time that we so strongly strive to suppress our emotions?
Because movement has power!
Emotions are the Vital Force moving through us. Hence the Jedi axiom, "Feel the Force!"
Our culture would have us suppress our emotions because they are powerful and can create profound change in our relationship with each other as individuals and as a society.
Yet, when we clamp down on our feelings, the body simply holds that Force. That Force doesn't dissipate or disappear. The body holds it for as long as it can, but that energy is still moving around in the body and mind, creating dis-ease. More often than not, that energy builds as it is bottled up.
Like a bottle of kombucha, all it takes is a good shake for that energy to want to explode.
We are in a time when we must learn to harness the current of our feelings. Rather than block its flow, we can create banks and circuits for that energy to flow.
I invite you to create some time to be with what you are feeling. Let it move your body. Let it direct your voice. Let the emotional elements of your body purify you and forge something new in your life.